PLANS FOR THE FUTURE
After all, I’m THE most famous cheese maker in the Bernese Oberland now. People from all over the world have been arriving since I became the leading light of the Cheese Symposium. The government is wondering whether it shouldn’t build a helicopter-landing pad nearby. I’m quite happy with my cheese. The demand is so great that I have to sell it by the gramme so there’s enough to go round. And now my colleagues at ALP have found a high level of bioactive peptides. Soon you’ll probably be able to buy my cheese at the druggist’s. The pharmaceutical bosses should be getting cold feet... You find this unrealistic? Just take a look at the journal Medical Hypotheses (2008), 70, 454-455.

Yes, and then I look forward to trips to far-off countries with my Eliana. We never cease to be surprised by the all places where cheese is made and the variety in which it is produced. And they learnt it all from us Swiss. As far as I'm concerned the Swiss invented cheese – you can't tell me any different! Maybe others curdled milk before that, but proper cheese comes from Switzerland.

And I want a large family. All happy together in an alpine hut. Eliana will surely get used to country life. Then she can blow her alpenhorn at sunset while I listen to Patricia Kaas on my iPod.

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