ELIANA
One fine day I had to go searching yet again for my favourite cow Pflümli. She sets out to explore as regular as clockwork and then can’t find her way back. I had covered quite a stretch when suddenly I heard weird sounds in the distance. Of course I had to go and investigate, and came upon a girl who could coax totally new sounds from an alpenhorn, even if sometimes they didn’t sound quite right. She was frightened out of her wits when she saw me. She wanted solitude to practise her alpenhorn in peace… Then I saw her eyes. I melted like alpine butter in the rösti pan, but she gave me the cold shoulder. Until I praised her skill on the alpenhorn, and then she gave me her mobile number. I have since been a regular on the Bern-Express to visit my Eliana in town.

We have been together for some time now and her eyes still make me weak at the knees. The trick of praising her alpenhorn skills still works. Sometimes she tries to change my diet. 5 portions of vegetables or fruit a day… In the mountains the cows, goats and sheep eat the greens and then we make top quality products from the milk or the meat. It also annoys me when she helps the food industry to copy our products and then sells it as innovation.

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